Author of the novel Gods Behaving Badly, soon to be a film starring Christopher Walken and Sharon Stone. Writer, with Robert Hudson, of BBC Radio 4 series Warhorses of Letters, starring Stephen Fry and Daniel Rigby. Co-author of the erotic spoof Fifty Shelves of Grey. Co-host of the Firestation Book Swap in Windsor and London.
I made it home in twenty minutes last night, shaving half an hour off my previous best time. I didn’t get hooted at, but I did almost get attacked my a swan on the towpath. And I had to get off and push on a steep bit. Some schoolgirls mocked me. Also I was halfway up a one way street before I remembered that I’m not allowed to do that when on wheels. I changed gear a few times but I couldn’t figure out if I wanted my legs to move faster when I was going uphill or not. Do I? Not trying to be funny. Well, trying to be a bit funny, but also serious question. Finally, I discovered that I really, seriously don’t know how to fold up my bike.
Total injuries from day one: one cut, two bruises, all to right foot. Expecting more from scraping against unfolded bike pedal in my front hall.
I have signed up for cycling lessons. And today I am working from home.