Stand by: rumours of my scene’s cancellation may have been exaggerated. Or, to put it another way, there’s so little time left of the shoot that they may have to drain the swamp and do it anyway. Even as I type, teams of orphans are sucking up pools of stagnant water through straws in order to ensure my acting debut*. I won’t believe it until it actually happens, but maybe, maybe, maybe…
*This part is not true.